I’m writing this article with the assumption that you’re already a bit familiar with Twitter. If so, then you’ve no doubt struggled with the question, “do I follow everyone back?” There are a range of opinions and mine has, admittedly, flip-flopped quite a bit over time, but I’ve finally settled in on a particular approach and wanted to make a case for it.

First, you need to understand that I worded the title of this post carefully. I’m a little annoyed at how strongly opinionated people can be about this issue. I’m not making a case against following everyone back. In fact, for brands, news organizations, and a few other uses, it’s probably more ideal to do so. It depends on your purpose for being on Twitter. Instead, here are some simple observations I’ve made in my own approach.

1. “Following” should mean something. It should say, “I find this person valuable to me personally.” Yes, everybody’s valuable, but are they valuable to your particular needs and interests? I’ve trimmed my list of people that I’m following, and while there are plenty more great folks I’d like to follow, I can honestly say that anybody on my list is worth your time.
2. Following everyone means enabling and encouraging abusers. As I went through my following list this last time, I found some people whose profiles and tweets were rather objectionable to me for a variety of reasons. Not only do I not want their tweets in my timeline, but I also don’t want their avatars in my friends list for others to see.
3. Following everyone pollutes the stream. One of the things I like about Twitter is the idea that relevance rises. Things that are interesting and important rise to the top, but if you’re following too many people, you’re looking for the relevance through muddy waters. I know there are tools that allow grouping of friends, but it seems redundant to have to select people to follow from among the people you follow.
4. Following everyone spreads your conversation thin. It’s tough to form a close network of helpful friends when you’re trying to communicate with so many.
5. Following isn’t necessary to the conversation. Sometimes I participate in a chat for web designers. I converse with all kinds of designers that I don’t follow, and who don’t follow me. Search and trending topics make this possible.
6. Follower counts give a false impression of genuine influence. As I searched through my following list, I noticed a couple of things. One is there would be page after page of people with whom I had no familiarity or history at all. We were in different niches altogether and it was obvious our mutual follow relationship was for no other purpose than to give each of us another number in our follower count. The other thing I noticed is that obvious spammers have managed to build up large numbers of followers in spite of breaking all the unwritten (and sometimes written) rules. Why? Because so many people follow everyone back. Follow enough and you’ll get a high count, whether you influence anyone or not.

Having said all of that, I suppose it only proper to address the issue of how I determine whom to follow, which is tough. I ask these kinds of questions: Do I know them? Have I conversed with them in a meaningful way? Is the content of their stream valuable to me and to others? Are they just hoping to sell me something? Are they tweeting about a niche I’m interested in? Beyond those kinds of questions, I take it a follower at a time.

Furthermore, when you break the addiction to the follower count and following back, you suddently realize that it’s perfectly okay to follow people of interest who will never follow you back. They aren’t snobs, they just have a different philosophy and approach. I follow quite a few people who may never follow me back. That’s perfectly okay, I can learn from them anyway.

I’m not a social media expert, per se (if you want one, there are about a million social media “experts” and “gurus” on Twitter you can follow), so I don’t have all the answers. I’m not an authority. I’m simply speaking about my own experience. And if I’ve unfollowed you, it wasn’t personal, I assure you. You’re welcome to unfollow me too, won’t hurt my feelings at all.

As far as the comments go, feel free to disagree and state your case, but be nice. I’m a firm but fair moderator. Honestly, I’m not losing any sleep over the debate. Oh, and if you’d like, you can follow me on Twitter.